Online Dating Etiquette

Unfortunately, standards of honesty tend to slip when using this faceless method of communication.

Regrettably, men’s manners have regressed behind this shield of anonymity and women have reacted by raising barriers of caution during online dating.

The men have then become craftier in their deception and women more wary.

Nevertheless, deceptions do still occur and both sexes are guilty of this.

Consequently, a new set of ‘rules’ have evolved, to protect women in particular, from nasty experiences and to make online dating more friendly, civilized and safe for them.

But sometimes men are the victims too.

If you are new to online dating the following will help you to participate with dignity and confidence.

If you are experienced in online dating you will recognise the need for establishing this code of online dating etiquette.

General Rules

Rudeness can never be justified. Remember your manners

No profanity. Save it for your boozing buddies

This is not a game. You will be dealing with real people with real feelings

Engage in cyber searching only if you are seriously searching for a friend or partner.

Clearly state your intentions. Do not do it for kicks. It’s cruel

Dating Agency

A search for ‘online dating agencies’ produces thousands of online agencies.

Many allow a limited free trial period.

Others will accept your profile and allow you to view profiles of advertisers free of charge.

It is only when you wish to contact a potential candidate that a subscription fee is required.

Test drive a few, up to the point of having to subscribe, before you settle for one or more to ‘subscribe’ to.

Reject any websites that mess you around with links that mislead and deceive you and use hard-sell tactics.

Check the Terms and Conditions and their Privacy Policy.

E-mail address & Screen Name

To prevent cyber abuse, establish a separate e-mail address for online dating

Do not get too slick with your online name (screen name). It could send the wrong impression and turn up a poor match

Your Profile

This is your advertisement. Be honest in your profile from the start to the end.

Do not lie. You will eventually be found out

Make sure you fill in the Profile Form fully and truthfully or you will be frustrated with unsuitable candidates wasting your time and theirs

Post recent photos to prevent the shock of being discovered to be a geriatric instead of an expected hunk or spunk

Avoid sloppy spelling & sloppy grammar.

You will come across as lazy or uneducated

The Response

The response may be by e-mail or online chat

If you respond by e-mail and it is ignored try no more than once more

Remember at all times to treat each other with dignity and respect

If you are going to respond to an ad - be sure that you match the required criteria before you respond – e.g., age range, description, religion, location, interests and so on

Do not respond to an ad if you are not genuinely interested.

Put your energy into responding to a good prospect

The Reply

If you have responded to an ad and the reply is a rejection, that’s life. Move on….cheerfully.

You are one step closer to your love match

If the response is from a person clearly outside your stated parameters, they are wasting your time. Ignore it

Always reply to genuinely decent responses, even if the answer is ‘No’.

Always be polite and kind, especially if the answer is ‘No’

Never be too busy to respond appropriately

Reply as soon as possible. Make it a priority.

People are individuals, so, personalise your replies

Aha, you have received a promising response or two and you are going to reply

You are now participating in Online Dating (e-mail or chat)

Start with a friendly greeting

End with a friendly goodbye

Use gentle humour if it is part of your personality

Punctuate your statements with – (smile) (frown) (beaming) (thinking) or :-)

Keep it brief, relevant, light, breezy and interesting

Allow the communication to flow

Do not get personal

Do not trifle with anyone’s emotions

Allow the friendship time to develop. Do not be pushy

Do not demand anything

When ready, ask, do not push for a phone number or address. It might even be volunteered, if you are lucky

You might talk on the phone a couple of times (the original online dating)

At some point when you both feel it is time to meet in person do so

Vacillating? Remember, if you are not fast; you are last

Decide on a time and public place for a coffee and chat

Agree to keep it short – say for about an hour

Arrive separately and leave separately

Do not commit to anything until you meet face to face – you could regret it

You are about to meet Face to Face

Now it’s time to brush up on some face to face dating etiquette to see you through this important phase in setting the stage for a successful relationship

Be sure to click on the above 'dating etiquette' link and read it carefully before you meet

Tell someone where you will be

During the date pay attention for inconsistencies in conversation

Have a check-in time with a friend

After the Date

The polite thing to do is to make contact again in a couple of days to thank the other for the opportunity of meeting

If the date was not promising, agree that the experience was worth while but that the chemistry is missing. Do not take offense.

We each have our own expectations of what we want in a soul mate. It just cannot be forced.

Wish each other luck and move on to your next prospect

There is no point in being rude, critical or personal

If there was a mutual spark worth pursuing - sound it out and arrange to meet again soon

Did you find your Perfect Match?

No? It’s ok to date more than one prospect online or offline until you do. Be open and talk about it

Once you have found your ‘perfect’ match discontinue your ad by removing your profile promptly

If you believe these tips on Online Dating Etiquette have been helpful to you and could help your friends, please use our to send them an e-mail link to this page or our page on Dating Etiquette.


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